Was it really ual ault?

Alright so, first of all I'm 14 and 11 months, and the guy (who is my 30 year old sister's boyfriend) is 29. I had been drinking and smoking weed with both my sister and her boyfriend quite a few times over the last few months like since September, 2010. But a few months ago he (the sisters bf) came home from partying all drunk. My sis wasn't with him so it was just him and me in the house. He cuddled me and I let him. I hadn't been drinking. He tried to touch my but I just pushed his hand away. He stopped but he would try again every once in awhile and I'd do the same thing, push his hand away. He tried to slip his hand in between my legs once too, and again I pushed his hand away. He was kissing my shoulder which I let but when he tried to kiss my neck that's when I would tell him to stop. A week before this, he had been kicked out by my sis and me and her had ped out downstairs. In my drunkenness, I don't really remember much of the night but I do remember him coming back and laying down behind me so we were kind of spooning. I remember him pushing me up against him and trying to feel me up but every time he tried to go under my bra or pants I'd push his hand away. My sister was asleep the whole time. I didn't tell her about either of these because of several reasons. I was confused as to whether or not I liked it or not. I found myself hoping he would do it again. But when he did, I would push his hand away when he tried to touch my privates. But I almost liked it. And I loved his presence for some reason. And then the most recent time which was about a month ago he came home alone and drunk again and again it was only me and him. I was asleep but I woke up to go to the washroom and when I came out he was standing there. I said hey and went back to bed but he came to lay down with me. He lied behind me so we were spooning again and he starting kissing my neck. I was tense at first, but I relaxed a little and I was liking what he was doing even though I still thought I was a little disgusted and kind of wanted him to stop. He then put his hands under my shirt and up my bra and groped me. Sometimes I would just let him do what he was doing and other times I kept telling him to stop and push his hands away or turn my neck away from him. The only thing I defiantly didn't let him do was go under my panties. I had no desire to have with him. A few times I'd try harder to get him off of me and when I did, I would get up, go to the bathroom for a few minutes then come back out and lye right down again in the same spot so he'd lay behind me again. I did this like 3 times. I don't know why. I kind of enjoyed it when he did little things but there was still a small amount of disgust there. I can't even imagine having with him, that totally disgusts me. Even though I have fantasies sometimes. I'm so confused with myself, was this sexual ault ?