Is it normal not to be able to shut off your brain?

In my opinion you should tell him what you feel and how it should be done......u have to tell him the point that the longer the better thing........tell him how you fell when he kisses u slowly and what difference is it when he treats you rough....... try to show something to him on ur own....like going down on him one very slowly taking the initiative and let him know what pleasure it gives when things are done slow......also when making love try to slow things from your side too like not letting her come close and tease him.....but sometimes u can also give it hard and let things rough up a little *** it creates a sense of urge and tempo in ur love lyf....... Happy Day ahead and tc.....