Is my boyfriend but just doesn't know it? Or should I look at myself and my ual orientation?

I have been dating my current boyfriend for almost a year now. Before him I was in a short lived relationship with a slightly older man who claimed to be fully heteroual but slowly began presenting himself as a ual in denial. He knitted, got his nails done, and gay bashed for no reason without prompting. That and his speech and aptitude towards seemingly disliking woman and "rough men" made me conclude he was gay. My current, however, is well strange. He has no interest in sex, we tried 4 times and every time he --and this is graphic-- he honestly could not get it hard enough to go in despite him having a large ***** while we were making out. He hates touching my vagina in any way, and comments it stinks even when I've showered with summers eve and changed my clothes. He says it feels gross down there and wipes off any fluid he might get on his hand. My OBGYN says it's fine down there. He doesn't particularly like my , although they're good sized and fairly perky. The only things he seems to want to do are grope my *** and kiss me. I know that not all s follow the common stereotypes. If anything he comes off more as a sexist since he expects me and his mother to do all the cooking, cleaning, and clothes washing, hands down and claims women complain too much and can't handle money and wear too much makeup that ruins their face. It's just the lack of sexual and emotional attention from him makes him more like a good friend than a boyfriend. What makes it worse is I myself am being drawn to think it's somehow my fault and I might be a . I've never denied I like attractive woman, but following the few sexual activities i had with my boyfriend i found men in general to be less appealing than I thought. I've always liked women more and enjoy scoping out attractive woman just as much as I like hunks. Since he is my first and i his, I wonder if this is the opportunity for at least one of us to see were we stand in terms of our orientation.